Still no period, but I haven't taken a test either. James and I aren't sure weather we'd like to do a home test and use our digital cam to video tape it or go to the office where a friend works. She's been expecting me to show up ever since she found out we were trying.

Let me try to explain how I'm feeling. Mainly it boils down to: I feel different. I knew Thursday (my period was due to start Friday) that something was different. My breasts had been very sore for days and I had that bladder pressure. Thursday night I sat up in bed reading and I put my hand to my lower abdomen and just knew. It was as if my entire body was humming with the news and the center of the humming, the strongest part was my lower abdomen. It sounds strange, but that's how it felt.

Saturday I started drinking more water. I read that a pregnant woman needs twice as much water as a 'normal' woman. It went right through me. I was in the bathroom every 30 mins. I was already going often before, but now I'm going much too often. My breasts seemed to feel better though. I slacked off on the water intake and my breasts hurt more now. My allergies started up yesterday. I was a bit surprised. We opened the windows in the house and with all the pollen now, I shouldn't be. Then last night I read that pregnant women have stuffy noses and their allergies get worse. But that was in the info about the 4th month.

Another thing that's happening is that I'm waking up early going, "Man, I feel like I've been laying here sleeping for ages." I look at the clock and it's several hours before I usually get up. It could be though, that Saturday night I had to sleep on the couch and last night we slept on the guest bed. Our waterbed, after about 8 years(I slept on it the summer before we married when I lived with his parents), has sprung a leak. James noticed it when he made the bed Saturday night. It was on the bottom, so wasn't noticable. Ours is a special waterbed, it's the kind that zips up inside a normal mattress. I don't know if the top mattress is ruined or not.

I've always told James that me getting pregnant would happen at the worst possible time. Last week we'd gotten a bill from our insurance. The rates had gone up a \$100 per month! The church is paying for it, so James discussed it with them and they all decided to drop it, get a major medical with a high deductable and put the rest of the money into a MSA (medical savings account). There are benefits to having a MSA. Anyway, by the end of the week, when I told James on Friday that I probably was pregnant (he would have laughed at me on Thursday and he still didn't believe me until yesterday) we decided that maybe we should keep the insurance and find a way to pay the extra $100. Well, then things turned worse. Saturday we recieved a check for our February payment with a letter saying that the company was approached by lawyers. I don't understand it all, but that they had to close the group policy for religious workers. I really don't understand it.

So, before I get tested, James wants to do some checking around about insurance. It's a long story why we can't get insurance. Basically, companies are strict in Alabama (maybe too many lawsuits) and most companies won't even give policies including maternity. The ones that do have strict guidelines and won't give me one because of being (by their definition) 30 pounds overweight.

So, here we are without insurance. I'm not too worried. Saturday morning I got in the car and the first song I hear goes, "Everything's going to be all right, Rock-a-Bye." You can call me crazy, but I take comfort in those words.

Which brings me to another subject. James and I, a couple of years ago, watched a program about a test that doctors ran. They tested women, CAT scanned their brain to get the size. Then, when the women were pregnant, they scanned again. I don't remember the exact statistic, whether 80 or 100%, but most of the women's brains shrunk. If you critters thought my stories were bad before, watch out now. Heheheh.

I haven't forgotten to post my exercise info. We did max out last week, I just haven't bothered posting it yet. My mind is kind of focused on something else at the moment. I will tell you that I started exercising in January at 215 pounds. Sunday I weighed and I was down to 204. I'm pretty pleased. I told myself that if I couldn't get down to my ideal weight (150) by the time I was pregnant, I'd settle for as close to 200 as possible. Even lower than that would be good, but I'll take that.

I've done some reading and decided that I'll stick with most of my weight lifting exercises. I don't, however, plan to up the weight any more than it is now. I've dropped some abdominal and the leg press. Sometimes my rib cage would hurt because I went down to far on the leg press, pushing my flabby abdominals down into my chest. It was really uncomfortable.

I've also decided to try out the yoga tapes at my gym. Also, on the elliptical machine, I've planned to slow the pace a bit and go for longer. I haven't been going for 20 minutes much due to lack of time. We've been getting to the gym an hour before closing and barely getting done. I'm going to start going earlier and go for longer on an easier workout.

James doesn't want to tell our parents until Mother's Day. That's a long time away. I told him I've been waiting for this day most my life, especially since the day we married almost 7 years ago, naturally I want to shout it on the mountain tops! Really only two other people know besides you readers. My sister knows and a woman at church. Another one probably suspects, but I didn't get a private chance to speak to here yesterday.

Oh, another thing about how I'm feeling. Saturday night I started having (I don't know maybe it was morning sickness) sorta like dizzy spells. My head hurt too. It's funny. I can go from feeling wonderfull to feeling horrible in about 2 seconds. Then I fell better, but still bad for a while. Usually it happens when I haven't eaten for a while. I feel like I'm eating a lot. I'm trying to make my meals smaller and more spread out through out the day. Yesterday I ate 3 small meals as opposed to 2 large ones. It's going to take some getting used to. All weekend I craved potatoes and Saturday I bought 4 bananas and they were gone by evening, 3 eaten by me. Must have been in need of potassium. I haven't really wanted any yet today. I've been up for almost an hour and haven't really wanted anything yet. I really should eat something though.

Well, I'll post this and let ya'll know tomorrow how the tests come out. I'm glad I made the decision to post here. You know how a writer gets when he or she has something to say. It HAS to come out! Remember though, for those of you that know my mom (which I really can't think of anyone that reads this journal and knows her), IT'S A SECRET!! It's going to be hard with her living here to keep it a secret. I was afraid she'd notice how much I was eating yesterday, but it's really not near as much as she'd seen me eat over Christmas in my blue hormonal funk.

TTFN!